honesty time

Hi! 

Something I tend to steer away from is vulnerability (aka honesty time), it makes me feel uncomfortable because I often find it easy to pretend everything is going just amazing! Not saying that this trip isn’t going well, it really is, but that doesn’t mean it is not challenging. So, I figured it’s time to be vulnerable, talking about the things that I haven’t found easy peasy lemon squeezy, how I am being challenged in my flesh, the things here that break my heart, and why leaving in 10 days will be so hard. There will be two parts to this blog, on this one, I will talk about the ways ministry has been difficult and the other will be what I am personally learning and working through while on the field and off. (I think lol)

So… Ministry… The mission of Ciudad Refugio is amazing, reaching SO many people. But along with serving so many people comes with the heartbreak of leaving them all. Going to the local special needs and elderly home is one of my favorite ministries we get to do, although when I walk into the building my heart breaks. I see everyone sitting in a small room, asleep in the chair or gazing at the blank walls. Most of them do not talk or walk around. Most of their days look exactly the same, but they get so excited when they see us walk in the door once or twice a week. We get to paint their nails, play bingo, be a listening ear to all of the stories they have to tell, and get to slow dance in the middle of everyone with no music on. We stay for two or so hours but then ultimately have to leave. I walk around saying adios, getting so many cheek kisses, yet seeing the sadness in their eyes as we walk away is what I remember. It’s hard. 

Another ministry that we do here at Ciudad is Aguapanela. Now this is one of the most spiritually, emotionally, and mentally challenging things I have probably ever done. Before I explain the ministry, I want to say that I am sharing this because of our Fathers  goodness, salvation, restoration, and redemption. You can read this and see the brokenness of the world, the hurting and pain, but I want you to read this and see the ultimate price that Jesus paid so that we can walk in freedom. Freedom that some of these individuals choose but all of them hear about. Aguapanela looks like piling into the back of the trucks that bring the meats and vegetables to this facility. Driving to the “bronx”, where when you get out of the truck, you see hundreds of homeless people living on the streets doing every drug possible. Because of Pablo Escabar and the evil he brought to Colombia, it has left lots of damage and hurt for the people here. Many people have fallen into hard addictions, feeling like they can’t get out, some not even wanting to get out. And most end up here, in the bronx. Prayer-walking down the street while making eye contact with people who I know aren’t even seeing me back is heavy. Praying for freedom and love in a place that looks the actual opposite is terrifying. In these moments I feel like I should be afraid, but I am not. I walk in confidence, with boldness, and a heavenly peace from the Lord knowing that these people need to hear the good news, and they need it urgently.  I walk around somewhere that looks heavy to the eye, but I walk and feel light. The Lord knows each of these children. He knows them by name and He wants them walking in salvation more than I ever could, so he gives me grace and peace. As some of us walk down the street praying, others stay at the trucks passing out the ‘aguapanela and pan.’ (This is a sweet hot water and honey tea like drink and bread) People line up down the road, knowing that it is coming. It comes every Wednesday night and Thursday morning, most of these people walk out standing in line, prepared for it. It is heartbreaking knowing that this is the first ‘meal’ that most of these people are eating in a while. Others don’t get up, because some of them can’t. Some people can’t physically make it over but others mentally aren’t there enough to receive it. That’s why we walk around. Going down each road, handing them flyers of the mission of ciudad, showing that they can get help, praying that they find the Lord, and lovingly encouraging them that someone cares for them and wants to see them get better. And you know what? People DO get better. Some of these people actually come and find a home at Ciudad Refugio, breaking the curse of addiction, and providing a home and a workplace for their families. That’s the beauty of this ministry. Not only is this reaching the unreached, but also providing them tangible ways to get help and find the Lord through it. 

Lastly I will talk about the things that we have done that aren’t necessarily too challenging but things that just aren’t glamorous. These are raw and real, ministry that doesn’t look a lot like the pictures you see on the internet. First, scrubbing the walls and floors. Not fun, not bad, but I have genuinely seen the Lord out of doing this. Scrubbing the dirt in between the tiles and in the grout of the floors so they look new again. Spending hours on our hands and knees scrubbing and rinsing and doing it again. Getting marker, dirt, and dried boogers off the walls, sooo glamorous. Another thing that I found particularly humbling was walking huge boxes of adult diapers down the streets of Medellin to the old folks home! Loved that one. Lastly, doing things like sitting on the floor of the kitchen for hours, peeling and chopping onions. Tears streaming down my eyes. Everything itches, but doing it anyways because I know that when I am doing it, someone else doesn’t have to. 

Anyways, there’s some of the things that the last three weeks have looked like and I honestly wouldn’t change it for a thing. Dying to myself and my wants daily. Serving in ways that most don’t find the most rewarding but hey I know that mine are found in heaven. And that’s on Matthew 5:12.

Chao, for now!

Corryn Scharff