How to be a Daughter
In the airport on the way to Colombia, I had the sweetest one on one with one of my squad leaders, Jessa. I told her a little bit about my story, who I was before the Lord and who I am now. I opened up about my heart, the things I have been walking through and learning. We talked about love. A couple weeks ago I wrote a blog about agape love, a type of heavenly love of our Father. If you haven’t read it, you should, but it is still something I am trying to understand. Agape love is a selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional love. We do not see a love like this other than from our Father. It is a love that is so sweet and intimate. So when I was talking to Jessa, I told her that I have been feeling numb from love, by both God and others. She was slow to speak, quick to listen, and quick to ask me questions. She asked me how I most often saw God. I said, my Creator, Savior, and Friend. While these are all great things to see the Lord as, she challenged me to lean into Him as my Heavenly Father. She asked me how I felt about playing the role of daughter, and that honestly felt a little bit uncomfortable.
After our conversation, I started unpacking my life, realizing that I haven’t ever played the role of daughter well. I grew up pretty fast. I was very independent, because sometimes I had to be. I have amazing parents that love me, but I started taking care of myself when I was a freshman in high school, before I even became a believer. I put a lot of pressure on myself, to do things alone and not ask for help, even when I needed it the most. I have realized that when I feel hurt, I decide to build walls and block the hurt out instead of giving it to the Lord or working through it. I do a really good job of pretending to not be hurt even when I am. This led me to finally grasp the fact that I don’t think I have ever tried to be a daughter, or accepted God as my Father. I had not recognized my need for a Father to lean on, ask for help, guide me, and nonstop love me.
Moving forward, I am going to work on the role of being a daughter. Allowing others to serve me, while I say thank you and accept it, instead of refusing their service and feeling bad about it. I want to grow in intimacy with the Lord. Being vulnerable and showing more emotion. I don’t need to hold my feelings together all the time. It is time for walls to come down, for me to accept love, and appreciate the people who are trying to love and serve me. I am loved, valued, and appreciated. People desire to serve and love me. (and if you’re reading this, they want to do this for you too.)
Walking in love is so freeing and I am excited to see what I learn in this season!
Corryn Scharff <3
You are HIS daughter, and I am lucky to call you my daughter too!
Corryn, This is beautiful as my tears are proof! The Lord is vast and therefore all that He is to & for us. We get to spend a lifetime and an eternity discovering Him…what joy! Praying for you & all His daughters!
Rachel Rutledge (Jessa’s mom)